Want to know how to make your husband feel loved? There are many components that go into a healthy, loving marriage. Like any relationship in our lives, marriage takes hard work and a commitment to continue growing, adapting, and communicating together.
There is no one trick or tip that will suddenly make your marriage perfect forever. And there is no one-size-fits all approach either. But at the core of any loving relationship is a commitment to continuously learn, listen, and support your partner through the ups and downs.
So if you’re committed to showing your husband you love him, here are 8 simple ideas that will make him feel respected and valued in your marriage.
Spend quality time together
This is perhaps the most effective way to demonstrate to your husband you love him. What’s that saying…actions speak louder than words? It’s one thing to tell your husband you enjoy his company, but it proves the point when you intentionally carve out time to spend with him.
What you do together doesn’t have to be complex, but it should reflect a genuine interest in connecting with him. And if the activity fits both of your favorite pass-times, even better. Here are a few ideas of what quality time together could look like:
- Share a cup of coffee together every morning.
- Travel somewhere new or to your favorite destination.
- Take a day or weekend trip.
- Start a bedtime ritual – read for 30 minutes in bed or share one positive thing that happened today.
- Try a new cuisine for your weekend takeout and have an extended conversation over dinner.
- Get exercise together in a way you both enjoy.
- Go for a long walk around the neighborhood or on a wooded trail.
Make or write something thoughtful for him
A handmade gift, a handwritten letter, a painting – these are all thoughtful gifts from the heart you can offer your husband. If you hate writing or have no artistic bone in your body, just hear us out for a second.
One of the quickest ways to show your love to your partner is by being vulnerable with them. To put pen to paper and write about how they make you feel, or to invest thought and time into painting or drawing something, shows your husband you are willing to put your heart out there to make him smile.
One meaningful thing you can write to him is a series of ‘open when…’ letters. These love notes are written ahead of time, each sealed and labeled with an exact time or occasion he should open them. They are thoughtful letters to help him through hard times, make him feel good, or remind him he’s not alone when he’s feeling low. You can use these ‘open when’ letter ideas to get you started.
Give him words of affirmation
Offering your husband words of affirmation is a very effective way to make him feel loved. Verbally affirming your husband is about more than just giving compliments. It’s about encouraging him when he’s struggling with something, reminding him you appreciate him, and empathizing with him. He is looking to know that he’s truly understood and seen. So why not verbalize this to him?
Words of affirmation don’t have to be dramatic, sappy poems you read aloud to your husband. They can be offered up over text, or written on sticky notes you leave on the bathroom mirror. You can also just look him in the eyes and authentically share encouraging words with him.
Here are a few examples of quality words of affirmation for him:
“I am so lucky to have you on my team!”
“I feel so proud that you’re mine.”
“I’m really impressed with how you handled…”
“I love you for all that you are, the good, the bad, and the ugly.”
The key is to make sure your words of affirmation come from a genuine place. Don’t just tell him what you think he wants to hear. No one feels loved by forced, cookie-cutter compliments. They feel loved when they can sense your words are from the heart.
Show genuine interest in his hobbies and passions
A great way to make your husband feel loved is to show genuine interest in the things he loves. While many of his hobbies or passions may not be your personal cup of tea, demonstrating you appreciate what he values will go a long way.
Does he love to fly fish? Does he love to learn about world history? Is he passionate about youth education? Ask him questions about how he got into his hobby, or what he enjoys most about it. How does it make him feel? Begin a conversation on the subject. Be truly present and listen with an open mind. It’ll make him feel like you truly care about what matters most to him.
You can take this a step further and even ask him to participate in his hobby or passion with him. Let him take you to play basketball, watch his favorite football team with him, or explore that art museum he keeps going back to. Joining in on his passions is a love language in itself.
Celebrate Relationship Milestones
Another way you can show your husband how much you love him is to acknowledge and celebrate your relationship milestones. If you mention to him that it’s the one-year anniversary of when you met, or do something special for his birthday, he’ll feel like you’re engaged in the relationship.
Celebrating milestones isn’t about buying each other lavish gifts or making a spectacle, it’s about showing gratitude for the special moments and growth you’ve experienced together along the way. Make your milestone celebration personal to him. For example, if you know your husband values handmade gifts over expensive items, make him a card or write him a love poem.
Whatever is the best reflection of your love is what you should offer. Even a post-it note on his car saying, “Happy three years of owning our first house!” will go the distance in making him feel seen.
Rekindle intimacy by flirting with him
Most married couples have experienced the dreaded extinguishing of the spark. Amidst the doldrum and ups and downs of life, it’s easy for us to focus more on daily household tasks and raising kids than keeping that flirtatious spark of intimacy alive.
Here are some simple and quick ways to flirt and rekindle the spark of intimacy that he’ll love:
- Send him a flirty text from across the room, suggesting what you’d like to do to him later tonight.
- Surprise him by wearing a sexy piece of clothing you know he likes on you. Or surprise him by wearing nothing at all!
- Give him a passionate kiss when he heads off to work.
- Give him simple touches more often. Place your hand on his leg while he’s driving, massage his shoulders, or gently squeeze his arm as you pass him by.
Sometimes we forget that it’s even important to maintain that flirtatious spark at all. But men feel valued and desired when you put in the effort to connect with them physically. Even lighthearted flirtation demonstrates that you still want them and are willing to chase their affections after all this time.
Do simple acts of kindness
Performing simple acts of kindness for your husband will go much further than you may realize. There are a thousand ways to be kind and generous to your husband that will warm his heart and make him feel loved. The key is to show you are willing to compromise, sacrifice your wants for his needs, and go the extra mile to give him affection and support.
Reflect on what makes your husband feel extra good, and get creative. You can grab his favorite candy at the grocery store, give him a back massage, or wake up before him and cook his favorite breakfast food. You can surprise him at work with lunch, plan a surprise date night, or just listen intently when he talks to you about his hard day. There are so many ways to be kind, thoughtful, and generous.
Just be present and in the moment together
Living in the 21st century comes with so much stimulation, distraction, and information-overload. There is a myriad of social media, Netflix shows, and news outlets that easily prevent us from being present with each other these days. So it’s more important than ever to put the phone down every once in a while, and truly engage in the present moment with your husband.
Make eye contact. Listen to what he is communicating with you. Connect with him using physical touch. These gestures will show your husband you are here with him in mind, body, and spirit. And there’s no better way to make him feel loved.
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